Thursday night: I swear I think that just about everyone that saw me, complimented my hair! It was truly a good hair day! Something I rarely have. I switched back to pure coconut oil for antifrizz, that must be what did it! I was over the moon. The last 24 hours have given me the feedback that I'm fucking hot with nice teeth and great hair.
Friday night: I got up early-ish and headed to Hulk's. We had plans to participate in my community's annual night time bike ride, the Tour de LikeImmaGonnaTellYou. I got there early so we could grab some dinner. He was expecting his kid to be dropped off at 6pm. I arrived about 4:30. He came onto me, got me to peel of my bike shorts, got my shirt off, was making out with me... Then his head was on my chest again with that same sense of defeat. We talked about it. He was afraid that what happened last time (loss of erection) was going to happen again. I reassured him that we didn't have to have sex right now. By this time, we were expecting his ex-ish wife to show up with the kid in about an hour... talk about pressure to perform. I strongly encouraged him to not attempt sex right now. I guess I just want us to be set up for success. The failures do bother me. I internalize them a bit no matter what.
Throughout our conversations in the meantime, the following bits of information were revealed. Cue list format.
- He often has that problem the first time he has sex with someone.
- He has been dating someone else. He had the same problem with her the first time. The second time, they successfully slept together. He used a condom, I asked to be sure. I'm betting it was one of the ones I left there. If that's the case, I'm sure glad I did that. Maybe I need to drop off a box. (Fun fact: This has no potential of being serious. This is at least in part due to her inability to successfully deduce strategy for the game Plants Vs Zombies. Something I've literally seen toddlers successfully play.)
- His ex-wife has a history of getting jealous when knowing about his dating. She got on him about having a date stay the night with the kid there. She said he was teaching the kid bad morals since they are technically still married. Yikes! I'd hate to think what she'd have to say about my morals! Complicating that, we are in the same profession, she having graduated a year after me from the same nursing program, but works at rival hospital across town. There is a chance that I could one day have to see her professionally if she were to jump ship and come to our side.
I decided that perhaps the best way to handle the ex-ish wife situation is to be gone when she arrives with the kid. I plan to order food and go pick it up. I'm punching things into the Jimmy John's app for pick up and he looks up. "Oh shit, she's here!" 'Okay, how do you want to handle this?" He asked me to hang out in the bedroom and went outside to meet her. I felt like Bob Loblaw ("I shall hide behind the couch.") Sitting there alone I thought to myself, "This would have been way less weird if I had just waved and smiled." She knows that I'm married and that we have mutual friends. She is not likely to think this is weird. She did ask him whose truck was in his driveway. He told her. She seemed fine. Oh well, live and learn to lie better. Sigh. I really hate that part of it.
We got dinner, picked up some supplies, decorated our bikes and headed up to the ride. It was a nice ride. The weather was perfect for a night time bicycle ride. We started at the back of the pack and made a leisurely trek on the 15 mile route. It was quite pleasant. I'm always one of the last to finish, but I don't mind. People sit out on the route and cheer on the riders as they go by. I wasn't in as bad of shape as I thought and I didn't even get really winded. The route is mostly flat, so that's nice. I considered sneaking a kiss out in public like that, but when I got home and saw how many of my Facebook friends were also on the ride, I was glad that I didn't. It's not like when I'm with NMB and I have to really work to keep my hands and lips to myself. I'm starting to think of Hulk as more of a friend that I care about, like to cuddle with and kiss and might possibly, maybe, I dunno, have sex with someday. The nice thing about poly is that it has room to be whatever it can be. We rode past my in-laws and I waved enthusiastically to them. We rode past the street I grew up on, down the hill I rode my bike down as a kid, past my grade school, near my grandma's house, and past my current residence. The unfamiliar car out front told me that Hubby was having a successful date of his own with a woman he just talked to on Thursday afternoon. After the ride, his text told me that his numbers have been increased to 7. All of his post marital successes have been on the first date. Sigh. I honestly can't keep track of all of them anymore. I think this is the 20 year old. I haven't asked for details yet. I find that I do better with that when some time has passed.
When we got back to Hulk's house, he put his daughter to bed and came onto me again. It wasn't hard, staring at him walking around shirtless is certainly a nice enough sight to get me interested. However, I felt that again, we would be setting ourselves up for failure. I like dick and all, but I'm not about to go down there after a 15 mile bike ride, nor would I want him heading that way on me. Also, the fact that his kid was sleeping in his bed meant that we would be relegated to the couch. There are no doors in his WIP home and I'm loud. He said I could stay the night. Right, haha! Ex-ish wife may not have been concerned that I was over there at 4:30 in the afternoon. I'm damned sure she would have been concerned about me spending the night. "It's not really any of her business" he argued. "I agree, but your kid is capable of telling stories, you know." The excuse that I was too tired to drive home wouldn't hold a lot of water either as I live about 0.5 miles away. Yep. These are things I think about. Hulk may need some work on his Emotional IQ, another reason I couldn't seriously date him.
I did tease him about being a tease. I told him "Next time" and headed for the door. I stopped and went back for more kissing before committing to the decision to extricate myself from this. "Next time." I said again as I left. I watched his porch light go out and I headed home.
Hubby's sex with _____ (Seriously, I can't remember this one's real name. She plays roller derby, that's all I can remember.) was reportedly "neat-o". Post being dumped, I'm happy that he had that. On the other hand, I'm bummed. Society has lead me to believe that sex should come easily for women when they want it. Apparently not when they are looking for it. Maybe I should try a less aggressive approach, put up a new picture on OkC... I dunno. It's hard to not get a little bummed out. On the other hand, part of hubby's success is his feminist ideals and genuine respect for women. That's a harder to find and I lose my interest pretty darn quick if it's not there. Men can instantly become less attractive when they open their mouths or post some obnoxious opinion on their Facebook wall. Things change quickly for him and they have the potential to do the same for me.
Saturday morning: I woke after 3 hours of sleep and a dream about the hot IT guy from work coming onto me. He was sitting next to me talking and without warning or explanation he tilted his head and moved closer and closer to my face until his lips were brushing against mine as he talked. When I opened my mouth to protest, (Stop! My friend has a crush on you!) he started kissing me. It was way hot in my dream and I doubt he's nearly that smooth in real life. Who is? That was a Hollywood kiss right there. My brain must be trying to reassure me and I thank it for that. It also lead me to immediately text my friend who's crushing on him and confess. She was cool. Said that someone should be dreaming about him and wanted to know details. She's a down to Earth super cool friend and she totally deserves this guy. I want them to hook up. But if she loses interest, she is to let me know. In response to my dream, I made this meme.
Plans for today include going back to bed and going out the that gay part of Big City for the Slutwalk. This will be a new experience for me!
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