Joe and I can talk about anything. He's my window into the mind of guys everywhere. He shares with me stories and experiences that are fantastic. He listens to my stories and doesn't judge me, even when he doesn't see it as something he could do.
Joe was making me doubt my interpretation of events with Not-My-Boyfriend (I finally have a nickname!!! NMB). He explained to me that guys will do anything to get pussy and that I shouldn't read too much into the text correspondence and the heroic efforts to calm the waters with my hubby at the burlesque show, since neither required all that much effort in an attempt to gain continued access to my nether regions.
"Dammit Joe, you are making me question the actions of all guys ever!"
"You're welcome!" He replied emphatically.
I still think I'm alright. This guy is getting plenty of pussy elsewhere and I fail to see why mine is so special. Plus, he strikes me as genuine.
Later when he used the term sex-positive, I expressed my support of the terms.
"You can be sex positive, Joe!"
"No. I'm sex-pure and you're sex-dirty."
Those are my two favorite snippets of this particular conversation with a good friend who has a lot of guilt to overcome. Ah, Joe. I'll make you enjoy guilt free sex, yet. Maybe it will be with me, if I'm lucky.
Joe was one of the first people I thought of when we decided to become poly. I never put myself in a situation where I would be alone with Joe in any sort of private venue. We only meet in public. Before, this was because I knew that, given the right circumstances, I would want to have sex with Joe. Since I didn't want to cheat on my husband, I never let myself near a situation where that risk was there. Now, however, that is no longer a concern. He has, at least initially, rejected my advances. "It's not a rejection of you. It's a rejection of the situation." He said sweetly, several weeks ago. Perhaps, over time, I can change his mind.
FYI- My husband's recent input on my paranoid fears of rejection, "Stop it, just stop it. You are seeing him twice a week, texting every day... obviously he likes you. He just also likes pussy, so stop it."