Tuesday, July 17, 2012

3 Conversations About Sex That Happened at Work

#1  I caught up with a coworker to get report on her patients.

Hurry up, let's get this done.  I have to get home and try to make a baby.  I think I'm ovulating.
Just don't forget to enjoy the work. 
Eh, I don't really like sex.
Really?  I love sex.
Really?
Yeah!

#2  It's morning and I'm getting a patient off the bedside commode.  She was 80 years old and sarcastic as can be.  She made a joke that flew over my head.

You'll have to forgive me.  I've been up all night.  At this time of the morning, I can be a little dense.

What were you doing?  Making love?

Haha, no.  My husband works here too, but he didn't work last night.  (She looks at me with widened eyes and tilts her head.) Naw, I'm kidding.  No hanky-panky at work.

Don't you ever find a laundry room or something?  I was married for 32 years and I'll tell ya, there ain't nothin sweeter!

What's the secret to a happy marriage?

Sex!

#3  The same nurse came back to receive report from me.  I asked her how the baby makin' went.  She told me the following story, paraphrased because I don't have a perfect memory.  Keep in mind, as you read this that it's being told by a tall, beautiful, thin blonde in navy blue scrubs.

Well, I got home and I was like, "Do you wanna?" And he was like "Do you?" And we were both feeling lazy.  I was in the bathroom to clean up, cause I was stinky and I was wiping my butt with a washcloth.  Is this sexy?  I was looking at him while I did it, you know?  And he was like, "I'll get you back for this."
We were both feeling lazy and I didn't want to do any work, but he was like, "Why don't you start out on top?" and I really didn't want to, but I did.  I got on top and we're doin it and I farted on his balls. Belp blep blep.  "Now your balls are stinky."  So I got him back.

1 comment:

  1. Your third story makes me a little sad. I suppose that having sex to inseminate even if you are not in the mood might sometimes lead to that tho.

    I think I'd have a hard time maintaining an erection with that kind of interaction (but I'm older). I feel blessed to have really ecstatic sex with my partner of almost 4 decades, but we don't make love unless we are connecting intimately (which we generally do).

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