Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Fisting During Pregnancy

Perineal massage is an often discussed technique believed to reduce the risk of tearing during delivery.  It makes sense that stretching your tissues consistently would make them more compliant and therefore ease childbirth.  If perineal massage may help, then why not fisting?  

I googled "fisting during pregnancy" to see if I could find out more.  I was hoping to find some anecdotal stories, but also some techniques.  Most of the results are links to old threads on various pregnancy forums.  These threads are ripe with sex negative reactions to fisting.  Below are some examples.

Ouch! I think I'd rather take the chance on tearing, thank you very much! LOL
You mean... fisting as in fist?? so...yeah..i dont think so..wow lol!
ya......no thanks.  that doesn't sound appealing AT ALL.  for those of you wanting to know what fisting is, well......it is having your SO use there fist all up in you.  Embarassed not good.
Sorry No I do not fell like being Punched in the cervix from both sides or have DH punch Lexie! It would be pointless any way I am having a C! Why would some one tell you that lol??
Haha, the only time something that big is going to go in OR out of me is when my son is born and comes out. The end.
Heck NO!!! I wouldn't want to stretch out my v-jayjay anymore than I have to. What if your baby falls out afterwards?!?

I was going to avoid this post... BUT I would just like to suggest that everyone just ignore this crap.
Seems like the tweens are back to rile up pregnant women's hormones. No woman would suggest fisting as a "fun" way to prepare for labor.
Be smart ladies. Ignore or report.

I'm really not trying to sound like a bitch, but are you being serious??!
If you are being serious (and again, I'm not TRYING to sound like a bitch) I always thought that fisting was just some weird fetish that lesbians messed with... but uh... I guess whatever floats your boat?

Woman have been birthing babies for a few years now, so I wouldn't be too worried about having to be fisted...
How can you possibly get sexual pleasure from fisting!  Oh my gosh, that sounds horrible!  I am so going to tell husband it is a requirement just to see the look on his face!  hahaha.
 she just had a freaky deaky fetish. thats nasty. the only thing that big that is supposed to ever be in the hoohaw is baby. or perhaps an very large penis. fisting is so gross.  
She said the vagina will eventually stretch enough to fit the hand....I don't want my vagina to be big enough to fit an entire fist!! There are surgerys to correct vaginas like that!Surprised

Much like many women's immediate response to anal sex, everyone assumes that anyone who is into it is perverted and that it is always painful.  It is beyond them to believe that someone would be drawn to fisting because it feels good.  The responses range from incredulous disbelief to downright disgust and denial so fierce that they are convinced someone made this up to mess with them to homophobic misunderstandings.  For every ten to fifteen of "ewwww" type responses, there was one good anecdotal story on fisting during pregnancy.  Some included a description of how you go about it, though most posts after that still had the general response of "not for me!".

I can certainly understand an aversion to a sexual practice that you believe will be painful.  I had the same response to anal sex for many years and only continued to learn about it and try for the sake of my husband.  The first time it happened successfully and I found that I enjoyed it was a huge surprise.  It just wasn't in my realm of thinking that it could actually feel good.  Our sex negative culture had me believing that all women fake pleasure from anal sex and that we all just try to get through it to make our SO's happy.

I have a harder time understanding why pregnant women are so dismissive to the idea of fisting when they are perfectly okay with a giant baby head, shoulders, arms, torso, etc... creeping out of their vaginas.  I also find it sad that they all assume that it HAS to be painful.  The idea that it could be pleasurable when performed in a safe and loving environment does not occur to them at all.  It's the sex negative culture again, of course.

Well, fisting is something I intend to work on with my partners (as much as each are willing) as this pregnancy progresses and I hope it will help me to deliver without tearing.  (No tears=faster healing with less pain=more sex sooner after delivery!)  I had my first full fist experience with this tonight with my husband.  Like many things that happen between us in our sex lives, this one happened organically and unexpected.  We were playing around with some mutual masturbation foreplay and I said, "See how much you can fit inside me..."  Slowly and with lots of lube, he filled my pussy with his sexy hand.  I know I've mentioned before that I find hands to be a huge turn on.  Hubby has long slender fingers and small knuckles on his big hands.  We started laying side by side on the bed and I stroked his cock while he played with my pussy.  Since I couldn't see what he was doing, I had no choice but to lay back and focus on the sensation.  At 25 weeks pregnant, my belly is too large for me to see much of what is going on down there at this point.  The sensation was intense, just a little painful, but in a way that I enjoyed.  I knew that I was getting more into my pussy that I every have before and I the feeling of knowing that was a turn on in itself.  It's especially empowering knowing that the work of labor and delivery is ahead of me.  This feels like something I can do to help prepare.  It's quite the feeling of accomplishment to have such a mass inside of me and know that not only did I get it there, but that I enjoyed the process.  It makes me feel like an orgasmic birth is actually possible.  Again, at this point I had no idea how much of his hand was inside of me, just that it was more than I had every taken in before.  Slow movements back and forth and circular motions made me come easily.  After a while, he withdrew his hand and I asked him to show me how much he had inserted.

"Um, my fist was in your pussy." He responded and offered to take a video of it so that I could see.  I climbed down from the bed and got my trusty iPhone (so versatile!) and an alternate lubricant.  This time, I laid on my back (not completely flat, of course, can't compress that vena cava with my uterus now) with him between my legs.  He again inserted his hand inside of me, slowly, this time while filming a 2:15 video so that I could see what it looked like.  Having the slight exhibitionist act of performing for myself as well as the knowledge that his whole hand was being inserted inside me made it even more pleasurable.  I think the position helped as well as he had more control of where he could move his hand.  I came again.  He later described how that felt on his end.  It felt like a really strong toothless mouth sucking sexily on his whole hand.  After just enough time to get the whole process on video, he withdrew and asked me to smile at the camera before turning it off.  Then we fucked.  The positions we can use are getting more limited by my growing abdomen monster, but the side lying position with him behind me works well still.  I can still lay on my back, tilted to one side, as long as he doesn't lay over me and put pressure on my belly.  He was a little apprehensive about being able to please me with his cock after having filled my pussy with his whole hand, but he had no reason to fear.  Having been so recently so deeply penetrated made me more sensitive to him than usual.  It seemed like I could feel the nuances of his penis better than I normally can.

After the sex, we played back the video.  We got about halfway through before an incoming phone call from a friend interrupted the viewing.  This lead to us having to quiet our giggles before I could answer the call.  Later, when we were able to give the video our full attention, I found myself getting turned on watching myself penetrated like that.  It's definitely an activity I want to engage in more frequently, especially as the pregnancy progresses into the third trimester.  I intend to attempt to recruit my boyfriend into participating in this as well.  Anything to help things stretch and build confidence in what my body can accomplish sounds like good preparation for childbirth.  I intend to bring this up as a question in our childbirth classes, but I'll place it under the unassuming header of "perineal massage" to get some opinions on it.  As for my doctor, I have an appointment next week and I will ask him about fisting directly.  We've already told him about our open relationship and he didn't bat an eye, so much so that my husband doubts he understood us correctly.  Having a gay man for an OB doc really builds my confidence about sharing such things.