If Humans Had Sex Like Dogs...

I'm a bad pet owner right now.  I have a small female dog that has not been spayed.  I'm able to let this sneak by as my male dogs are all neutered.  However, when she goes into heat, my small male dog takes full advantage of his remaining working parts and they get it on frequently.  Last night, they got it on in the yard before I went to work.  Do you know what happens when dogs have sex?  My hubby didn't, not until he saw it the first time.  When dogs fuck, the penis swells up upon completion of the act and remains inside the female dog until the swelling recedes.  They become tied.  My two little dogs were tied in the yard and unable to come in when I called them.  Therefore, I had to carry them inside, one in each arm, careful not to stress the point of connection and set them down safely inside.  They always look so confused when they are tied, as though they are completely surprised by it every time.  They almost look guilty, like a masturbating Catholic boy immediately after ejaculating.  This morning, we laughed about it.  "Can you imagine if humans were like that?"  my hubby asked.

This brings to mind numerous funny imaginary scenarios of humans getting it on and getting stuck together at the end, always surprised and confused by the outcome.  Imagine teenagers trying to get it on before parents arrive home and trying to find a place to hide until they become unstuck.  Imagine this odd mess of human bodies and limbs trying to make its way across a room to a closet.  Different positions lead to different configurations.  Just think about that the next time you fuck...  once it's over, imagine you had to stay that way for 10-15 minutes and think about what you've done.