"So, You've Broken the Chains of Monogamy Then"

Remember the swooning I did about 2 weeks ago?  Well, we had a second date.  In between the first and second date there were many many text messages exchanged.  They started off fun and flirty, got serious at times, went back to fun and flirty, covered the safer sex/history discussion, and went back to fun and flirty.  Our texting occurred in the late hours of the night, mostly between 11pm and 3am.  This was awesome for getting through some boring nights at work.

After several messages of cheesiness and general silly flirting, he sent the following message

Cheese and joking aside, I did find your company to be enjoyable and you to be attractive.  These are qualities which combine to make me interested in getting you into bed, if such things work out.  (Awkwardness of conversation: escalated)

Sexy man wanted to sleep with me.  I suspected the chemistry was mutual, but one is wise to be cautious with such assumptions.  Especially when one is new to poly, has been on several dates and on OkCupid for 2 months and has yet to sleep with anyone new.  That is a little disheartening in a way.  I was fairly ready to take it off for someone who was attractive and somewhat compatible.  You wouldn't think it would take all that long to find someone to fuck me.  Oh well (spoiler alert) the deed is done now.

Since its been 7 years since I was single and dating, I can truly appreciate how texting has changed the landscape of dating.  Having the sexual history discussion via text is something new and it's quite nice.  I appreciate the less awkward aspect of not being face to face for it.  You don't feel quite so judged.  Another benefit that was pointed out to me is that when you are texting you are not in the heat of the moment and thus tempted to skip important parts.  These are advantages to the "netization" of our socialization.  Besides, IMing on AOL back in the day was how I got dates in high school, so this works for me.  I appreciate someone who has command of the English language and can effectively flirt via text.  It's not all that easy.

In the meantime,  the Hubby and I negotiated terms for the next date.  I had no restrictions.  I could bring him back to the house and Hubby even helped me clean the house.  Yes, you read that correctly.  My husband helped me clean the house so that I could have a man over while he was at work for the purposes of having sex.  My only rule was to change the sheet before he got home.  With the mutual attraction confirmed, the safer sex conversation out of the way and full permissions granted by my husband things were set up for my first act of intercourse outside of my marriage. 


So, our flirting and general conversation went on and on until Tuesday finally arrived.  I woke up a little late and rather had to rush to make it to the restaurant.  I was only a few minutes late, thankfully.  And by a few, I mean like 4 or 5 minutes.  The restaurant was meh.  What happened afterwards was not at all meh.  He followed me back to the house.  On the way there I had a conversation with my mother on the phone. 

What are you doing?

I'm on my way home.

From where?

Dinner.  (Please don't ask any more questions...  please don't ask any more questions...)

Oh.  Well, I was calling about your brother...

(whew)

Once off the phone with her, I turned up the stereo and listened to Noah and the Whale.  There was a storm ahead of us on the highway, but it was only lightly raining where I was.  Once in a while lightening would strike in the clouds ahead.   I rolled the windows down and let my hair blow everywhere.  The wind smelled like rain and I was electrified by the spring storm and the feeling of change.  I was taking a guy home with the intention of having sex with him!

The night outside is five below
His heart is pumping blood
On his lips a perfect smile
His eyes begin to flood

Because tonight's the kind of night
Where everything could change
Tonight's the kind of night
Where everything could change

Noah and the Whale provided the lo-fi youth-inspired theme song to my intentions. 

Once inside, I didn't know how things were going to proceed.  Is it like how things were when I was younger, do you put on a movie and pretend you are going to watch it?  Nope.  He points out that the kissing was fun and I agreed.  From there, making out ensued.  He pulled me onto his lap so that I was straddling him.  We kissed a lot.  I leaned back and removed my shirt.  He seemed to appreciate that.  I ground my hips against him.  He removed his shirt.  I was wearing a skirt and his hands were wandering underneath it.  There was some awkward talking, but also this wonderful build up that comes along with a first encounter.   "It's like magic," I tell him, "I found you on OkCupid and now you are in my living room." I really feel like I've won something.  My bra is removed after he comments, "I never really know how these front clasp bras work."  I unsnap it.  After some more kissing and attention to my breasts, he asks me, "Any feelings of guilt?"  I leaned towards him and responded "No.  Not really.  I mean, there's a certain amount of discomfort knowing that what I'm doing will cause my husband emotional pain, but I know I have permission."  And we go back to what we were doing.  Honestly, what I wanted more than anything was to stay engaged in the moment and not lose my focus or primal intentions.  It honestly felt like the best thing to do for my husband was to make the most out of the experience so that his pain wouldn't be wasted.

Finally I stood up and made a comment about the futon folding down.  We make out further while we undress.  He slides his hand into my underwear and briefly slides his fingers inside me.  I am extremely wet.  He removes his fingers and licks them while murmuring "hmmm."  This is a move that turns me on.  We both finished undressing and I pulled the futon down into a bed.  I climbed onto the bed and he stood in front of me.  Okay.  Let's explore this cock.  Uncut.  Nice.  This will be fun.  I am not unfamiliar with this style as my first boyfriend in high school was not circumcised, and that was the guy I lost my virginity to.  Oddly enough, I honestly didn't know this at the time.  It was only after I had slept with someone else that I noticed the difference in anatomy.  I know what to do and I can approach this with some measure of confidence.  

So I suck his cock for a while.  He receives this attention differently than my husband.  He has both hands on the back of my head and he thrusts his hips towards me.  It was not uncomfortable and it did not bother me, but I was mostly indifferent to it.  It took some of the control away from me, but that's alright too.  After some time, we progressed to the next activity.  He spends some time just looking at my pussy and breathing on her.  I'm excited about this, but also apprehensive as I'm quite sure that most men don't know what they are doing down there.  He did.  It wasn't perfectly in tune with what I like, but I came rather quickly and had to ask him to ease off.  He seemed to enjoy this.  "You're fun." he said at one point.  I think this was in reference to the noises I was making and my general level of enthusiasm.  He kept at this for longer than I expected.  I came several times like this, each time having to ask him to slow down.  He pushed my limits and the whole time it bordered on too much stimulation, which ended in some intense orgasms, but was also a strange feeling. 

He stopped and stood up and asked where I hide my latex free condoms.  I crawled across the bed and reached into a box on the end table to get to them.  I did this knowing he would get an unrestricted view of my ass and I hoped he would enjoy that.  He did.  "I'm just enjoying the view," he said.  Awesome.  I was a little worried that he wouldn't like what he saw.  I'm glad to know that I was wrong.

And so we did it.  We fucked in my marriage bed.  It was fun!  And I didn't feel guilty about it.  I wanted it.  Afterwards, we cuddled for a long time.  We chatted, we kissed some more, and he gave me a really good back massage.  Eventually, he fell asleep and I got up to make a sandwich.  I later crawled back into bed and cuddled with him some more before I had to kick him out.  At one point he told me that I was "very responsive" in that it was really easy for me to get off.

I changed the sheet and I took a shower.  I erased all visible evidence of our tryst so that there would be no visible evidence to throw in my husband's face when I got home.  

Now I had Friday to look forward to, for that is when we made plans to meet again.  Friday.  And once I post this I will begin writing about what happened on Friday.  ;)