There is no protocol for these new social situations. Up until this point in my life, I knew how to be polite in most circumstances. My grandma taught me manners after all. In poly situations, I have no idea what the polite move is. There are no TV shows or movies to show you. Everyone has different triggers and rules and boundaries. So when you go to a burlesque show and dinner with your husband to meet a woman he's interested in and the guy she wants you to meet and you find out the day before that the guy you are sleeping with (and maybe kind of falling for) is going to be there with a date (who is the wife of his wife's boyfriend), what the holy hell do you do?
Do you introduce your husband to the guy you're sleeping with?
Do you tell the guy you are supposed to meet about the guy you are sleeping with?
Do you interrupt the guy you are sleeping with and his date to say hi?
What is considered rude in this situation? Saying hi or not saying hi?
The husband wasn't coping well. I didn't know what to do. He was closed off and uncomfortable. He wasn't watching the show. I sent a text to the guy I'm seeing to ask for advice. Then, at intermission, he came strolling across to our side of the balcony and introduced himself to my husband. He was a pro. I was impressed. He was empathetic and seemed comfortable. They chatted for a bit and I went to get water from the bar and had girl talk for a moment.
After that interaction, I saw a complete change in behavior. My husband relaxed, he laughed, he was flirtatious with me. Somehow that was the right move.
So, another hurdle has been crossed and we march onward.
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