Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Learning Curve: Beware the False Unicorn

So, a few weeks ago, I mentioned this Unicorn...  They don't really exist.  It was a fake.  It's about time I go back and address that situation.

Unicorn had initially messaged my husband, set up an impromtu immediate date and flaked on him.  Then she messages, texts and eventually calls to get him all hot and bothered by presenting herself as a third.  I'm open to this, but Hubby is uber enthusiastic.  We made plans to meet.

We met the Unicorn at a local sex-positive coffee shop.  Our Big City has one, be jealous.  She was beautiful and dynamic and I was immediately attracted to her.  She gently rubbed my leg with her thumb which severely impairs my ability to think.  All doubt about my bisexuality is vanquished as she slowly dragged her thumb back and forth.  I asked Hubby to leave early and I will follow shortly.  I want to kiss this girl, but all I can think about is that I don't want it to be a performance of any kind.  Hubby obliged.  Unicorn and I kissed in the parking lot.  It was nice.  

When next I meet the Unicorn it is for a one on one date.  She expressed an interest in only me, which hurt Hubby's feelings extensivly, but he was willing to still allow me this experience.  She had spoken to him much of the things she wished to do to me.  She was aggressive.  I liked that.  An aggressive woman is what I need if I'm going to explore this properly.

The date was weird.  The chemistry may have been lost, but I'm not sure exactly how.  I rolled with it anyway and invited her back to my house.  Once alone, she lost all aggression.  She looked up at me with doe eyes.  We made out a little bit, but that was all.  Still, I felt that everything was okay, it was still a cool experience.  That is, until it got really weird.  She got up to leave suddenly and won't explain why.  She said vague things like "Maybe you're supposed to teach me a lesson about what I do to other people."  I asked her to talk about what's wrong.  She refused and left.  Upon leaving, she immediately started texting my husband, who I asked not to reply.  I waited until I got the text that told me she arrived home safely and I cut off all communication.  She texted a few times over the next week and a half, both to me and my husband.  I dropped it all cold.

This situation was insane.  She attempted to turn us against each other, misrepresented herself from the beginning, texted us separately in weird ways, and used my husband to get to me only to drop him and make him feel like crap.  It was all very strange and disconcerting.  She has since stopped attempting to reach out and I am grateful that this is over.

Moral of the story:  Unicorns do not exist!  (Okay, they probably do, but I'm going to be even more leery of false ones from here on out!)

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