Sunday, February 26, 2012

A Dichotomy of Reactions

I've been on two dates since we began our exploration of polyamory.  One with CJB and one with TS.  Let's break this down.

On the first date, with TS, there was a mere kiss.  I was able to come home to my husband right away. 

On the second date, with CJB, there was a whole lot of kissing, he experienced my boobs and I touched his penis before the cop busted up the par-tay.  Hubby was at work and unable to see me immediately afterwards. 

Hubby's reaction to these two events was completely different.  After TS, he became intensely sad in a way that I had never seen him before.  I doubted whether any of this was a good idea and I seriously thought about cancelling my date with CJB.  It took some time for him to come around and fuck me the way I described in my previous blog post.  After CJB, he wanted the details texted to him right away, in a story format.  He couldn't wait for me to finish my blog post so he could read it at work.  He sent me dirty messages via facebook chat, aggressive dirty messages!  I reread them while I was waiting for him to come home and got my fresh panties all wet.  When he got home, he fucked me in a way I've never been fucked before.  Details forthcoming on that tryst and holy fuck are they gonna be good.

So why the difference in the 2 reactions?  He has determined that it was the guy involved.  TS is clearly only interested in sex and seems less than trustworthy for a number of reasons.  As I said before, the Spidey Sense is tingling...  In fact, he put the nail in his coffin when he texted me at 3:43am to ask how my date went.  He's also noticed when I've been online and questioned the time of day for me to be awake.  When I said something about late night breakfasts working well for me, he said "it can be our thing".  The fact is, it's my thing with a lot of people.  He's attempted some sort of contact every day since our first meeting and I really don't want that kind of intensity in my life right now.  It's a little unnerving.  Hubby compared the way he was feeling to when he was in high school and a girl he had a genuine nice-guy crush on would lose her virginity to some asshole.  He just felt sad.  If my spidey sense is tingling and it makes hubby feel uncomfortable, then it has to stop.  Now I have to break it off in a friendly manner.

In contrast, CJB has less direct sexual chemistry and likely has significantly less sexual experience.  However, he is genuine and nice and treated me like a goddamn lady.  A lady who's trying to learn to be a better slut, but nonetheless a lady.  This makes my husband feel good, I guess.

So, clearly there are some instinctual things going on here and if there's one thing I've learned, it's to listen.  So listen I shall.  As long as CJB is up for it, I plan on exploring his cock further, uninterrupted this time.  But TS's controlling and invasive behavior is putting the breaks on any strong sexual attraction I might feel.  It just isn't worth the risk.

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