Tuesday, May 15, 2012

I get an answer, a free cup of coffee, a surprise visit with a friend and an amusing anecdote.

I still have to write about the camping trip.  A success, by the way!  However, I am choosing to forgo that at the moment and write about how guys are stupid and girls are even stupider for letting them get away with crap.  So here is the story of 2 flaky guys and how I have this crazy little thing called self-respect. 

I went out with R, from work, for a celebration dinner and drinks.  We both started texting BCG (Birth Control Glasses, an adorable guy from work that we are both off and on enamored with.  I can't explain it, he draws you in, but no more after tonight!)  We were both texting and flirting and trying to get him to come out and join us.  He was trying to get a friend of his to agree to come out and was unsuccessful.  However, after some texting back and forth, I did get him to agree to meet me at Denny's later in the night.  We agreed on 12:30am.

Now, here's a little more back story... Remember the cute Denny's server I started flirting with the night I met NMB? I had plans with him one night and he completely stood me up without even a trace.  I should have deleted him from my phone, but I didn't.  I did unfriend him on FB.  We'll call him DK (Denny's Kid). 

When I arrive at Denny's to meet BCG, it is DK that greets me, seats me, serves me coffee and starts to chat me up.  I mention that I'm waiting for someone that I expect to flake, he picks up on this, does not apologize, but asks how he can make it up.  I don't really give in.  Having nothing better to do, I go outside with him on his break, where he attempts to pick me up in the following terrible way.  Before going outside, he seeks my advice on his 2 -girl-dishonest situation.  It's a hot mess, reveals his irresponsible behavior pattern and is a general turn off.  At this point, I'm thinking to myself, "He's not really interested, he's just seeking advice from the older lady."  He invites me outside while he takes his break and I agree, again, having nothing better to do.   While outside, I run into my good friend Joe!  Hooray!  Joe goes inside with the friend he's with and I hang outside while DK attempts to seduce me into making out with him, here's how.  He tells me he likes chubby girls and that's why he's attracted to me.  Chubby.  I'm not a stick figure, I'm also not "chubby".  I wouldn't even call myself thick.  I'm a size 9.  Seriously, chubby?  This is how he hits on me.  I'm pretty sure he was negging.  Then he asks me if I'll make out with him while he steps off away from the window (you know, where his manager can't see).  I tell him that he's just horny and I'm just there.  He starts playing this stupid song with the lyrics "Lets make love..." on his phone.  Really?  Is this really happening?

"This might work on those younger girls, but it's not going to work on me."

"But you're blushing."

"I blush a lot."

"The tops of your ears are red."

"Just because I'm having a physiological response, doesn't mean I'm going to act on it." I said as I walked inside.  He followed. 

Yep.  That happened.  A 23 year old kid tried to lure me away into a corner where his manager couldn't see, where he played some stupid song on his phone that was supposed to convince me to go get some.  He has a lot to learn, the silly boy.

Meanwhile, there is no trace of BCG.  I join my friend at his table and get to know his friend a little bit.  DK kept finding reasons to come over to the table.  He just doesn't get it, the silly boy.  He's blown his chance, but he still thinks there's something salvageable there.  Not happening.  Nope, done. 

BCG never shows, but he does text me at 3:10 am, a full 2 hours and 40 minutes after the time we were supposed to meet...  "I dozed off waiting for my friend...are you still up?"  I chose not to reply to this or any text from him ever again.  I got my answer.  When my friend got up to leave, I also went to leave.  DK chose not to charge me for my coffee...  "I think I saw you drinking my coffee" he said.  I thanked him, did not tip him and left. 

This was actually an awesome night.  Why?  I dealt with two rejections from attractive guys that I was at one time interested in, and my self esteem took no damage.  Both of them critically failed their damage roll, effectively putting an end to this battle and all others in the future.  (Yeah, I just made an RPG reference...  what!?)  It's empowering. 

It helps that NMB and Hubby were texting me... including some sexy texting with NMB starting with me explaining the attempted making out:

This is clearly for the best.  The server's attempts at hitting on me included confessing that he likes chubby girls.  Really?  Chubby?  Wow.  Then Playing some cheesy song on his crappy phone speaker and trying to lure me away from the window so his manager wouldn't see.  I'm so glad I have more self-respect than that!
I do approve of this possession of self respect!  (I like my partners confident... and a little submissive in bed, but that's not mutually exclusive, fortunately.) 
Now you've got me thinking about being in bed with you!

Truly, I am subtle!

But effective.  Well, I got a free cup of coffee out of the server.  And ran into a good friend up there, so overall, a good night!  Now it's home to something with batteries that never lets me down.  Hubby is at work.

My experience is that vibrators die at the most inconvenient times, really.
P.S. The mental images from your last statement are nonetheless enjoyable to me. ;)

Oh good, so you feel my pain then.  If you lived closer, I would try to lure you into a booty call.

I assure you, if I either lived closer or didn't have my Monday-night-work-finishing to do I would be lured.

That's nice to hear, but less than satisfying ;)

I will try especially hard to make up for this lack of satisfaction next time I see you, never fear ;)

I understand the need to be responsible.  I'll appreciate the extra effort you have offered.

The responsible approach is certainly less fun, though.

Sigh.  Alas, it must be so.

This, combined with the fact that I have a date on the calendar with a long time friend who is both a really nice guy and hot and had a crush on me in the past.  All that and more, including camping trip and tent sex details, coming your way soon. 

Rereading those texts above forces me to ask the question: When would there be a convenient time for vibrator batteries to die?  Answer: Not possible.

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