"I'm not exactly sure what I saw in her in the first place."

I found myself in another awkward situation yesterday.  This one didn't make me laugh at it's absurdity.  It made me cry for it's discomfort. 

So, remember when Hubby was dating Munchy?  Things fell apart there.  She fell off the face of the Earth with little explanation.  Hubby cut things off explaining that he felt like she didn't have the time to devote to dating someone else right now.  And then...  they talked here and there and occasionally hung out. 

That brings us up to the present.  Munchy is in a 2+ year relationship with J who is married to M.  J & M are going to Bonnaroo this year.  I, BB, and Hubby are going to Bonnaroo this year as we have in other years.  Hubby met M last week and we discussed getting together and having a Bonnaroo adventure. 

To further discuss this Bonnaroo adventure, we met J & M & Munchy along with Me & Hubby & L (a friend from work who is joining us for Bonnaroo)  When I agreed to this, I didn't know that Munchy was going to be there.  Here's a secret:  I don't like her.  I don't hate her, but I really don't like being around her.  I feel like I can't even exist around her. Her personality and lack of humility just overwhelm the environment. She has limited life experience and yet knows everything.  I don't have the energy required to force myself to exist in her space.  It's exhausting to be around her.  Every story means getting interrupted and hearing something about her.  *sigh*  I can finally talk about this freely. 

So, we make our introductions with J & M and someone says, "So, we're all going to Bonnaroo, huh?"  This SHOULD have initiated the conversation we were there to have, which was about going to Bonnaroo, NOT about Munchy.  Instead...  Munchy says, "I'm not going to Bonnaroo.  It's too expensive."  and then we talk about Munchy and how she's not going to Bonnaroo instead of talking about going to Bonnaroo.  WTF?  Shut the hell up.  It's also important to mention that I've had this conversation with Munchy before and she rejected my suggestion that she try to volunteer, therefore, STFU and let the adults talk sweetie.

Upon shaking J's hand he said to me, "So, can I like apologize for not getting back to you on Facebook in forever."  I replied, "Sure, you can do that." and at that point I was completely shaken.  I had a handle on this situation and now I didn't...  here's why.  When I had my HUGE meltdown after Hubby's first date with Munchy, I poured my heart out in a long message to J on Facebook.  He responded positively to a shorter message and for some reason, I thought it was a good idea to DUMP all my emotions on this guy.  I heard nothing back.  Ever.  I sent that message on March 2nd.  It's the end of May.  Apparently he had every intention of getting back to me, but never did.  So, when he said that to me, in front of everyone, in the middle of a flea market under the blazing sun, he may as well have been saying, "Hey, remember that time you WENT INSANE! WE ALL KNOW ABOUT THAT!"

I needed to talk to my hubby and reset, but he was just getting angry at me for not being able to handle the situation and for my dislike of Munchy.  I finally got to explain it a little bit, pull myself together and have lunch with these people. 

Thankfully, L sat across from Munchy and kept a conversation tied up there for most of the meal.  Most of the things I attempted to interject into the conversation were overlooked and talked over.  I was finally able to discuss some things with the group in regards to Bonnaroo, but I mostly felt like an alien in a landscape where I didn't know the rules of social interaction.

On the way home, the argument started with Hubby.  We were both so upset by the events of the day and neither of us had processed them yet.  We argued for a while and then fell asleep.  I didn't want him to feel like he had to give up a friendship with these people because I felt uncomfortable.  He didn't want to pursue a friendship with these people if it made me uncomfortable.  We were both mad about this.  Later that evening, he shared with me a fact that made me feel better about the whole thing.  When I was in the bathroom and he was alone with L, he said to her in regards to Munchy, "I'm not exactly sure what I saw in her in the first place." 

Now that I know he's truly lost interest in her outside of my influence and that I can freely express my dislike for her, I feel a million times better about the situation.  We decided that going to Bonnaroo with them was too risky of a social situation.  If things get weird, then our whole weekend at Roo is sullied.  Therefore, we will be traveling to the farm separately.  We made the decision together.  I'm secure with the fact that we aren't going to pursue a friendship with them.  I have so many close friends and I've already met so many interesting and nice new people since we became poly, I have no need to force these somewhat selfish conceited people into my life.  There is no need.  There are too many people I instantly click with to force friendships with people I clash with.