How to Teach a Less Experienced Sex Partner

I've been Googling to seek advice on this topic and have come up empty handed.  I've found plenty of information about teen sex and how to be the less experienced sex partner (all written toward women) but I've not been able to find one decent article on how to teach someone with less experience.  Perhaps I am not Googling the right set of words, but I don't know where else to look.  There's probably something in the Savage Love archives somewhere, but it doesn't appear to be searchable so I'm still at a loss.  What to do?  I suppose I will attempt to write on article with the advice I expect to see and as I learn how to teach, I will revise this piece as necessary to reflect the knowledge I learn.

The reason I am seeking this advice in the first place is that I need some help with my Hulk situation.  The last time I went over to his place for pizza, TV and cuddling, I was really hoping I'd finally get a chance to have sex with him.  I wasn't sure as he was dealing with some hang-ups about me not being on birth control.  I was happy to hear that he was over this, but he admitted that he is inexperienced with condoms and is nervous about knowing how to use them.  This wasn't a problem, as I sucked his dick until he was plenty hard and I put the condom on.  Then he lost his erection after about 15 seconds of actual sex.  He felt really bad about this and kept attempting to get it back up by making out some more and getting me turned on again, only to fail again.  This was extremely frustrating. He offered to pleasure me with his fingers, but nothing was said about oral stimulation.  I have work to do.  Sigh. I have a lot of work to do.  The problem is, I don't really know how to do it.  He has the right attitude, he has asked me to teach him.  That's a start.  I just don't know how to go about doing that as the more submissive sex partner.  And he definitely wants me more submissive, when I've been on top of him making out, it makes him uncomfortable and he quickly changes position so he is in control.  I normally like this very much, but I'm not sure how to assume a teaching role from that standpoint.

With all of this in mind, and the lack of resources on the subject, here is what I would expect to find if I could find the advice I am seeking.

Be Patient
Don't expect your new less experienced lover to pick up everything in one night.  Remember that you were once less experienced too.  You didn't always suck cock like you do now.  You probably weren't always willing to do all the weird things you do now.   You may have to let them know what you expect of them.  For example, I expect a lover of mine to give, as well as receive, oral sex.  I will make this expectation clear.


Use Available Resources
If your partner is truly willing to learn, don't be afraid to give them a book to lead them in the right direction.  This lets them take a proactive stance and learn on their own.  Hopefully they'll put forth the effort and be willing to practice their new skills with pride and some degree of confidence.  If you suggest a book and they decline or seem offended, then you probably aren't going to get where you hope to go and may want to consider giving up or accepting sloppy inexperienced sex for the length of the relationship.  Don't use porn as a resource.

Point Out the Things You Enjoy Before Giving Advice on How to Do Things Better
Use good communication techniques when you are giving advice.  Say things like "I like it when you do x, but I might enjoy it more if you did it this way."  Make sure to tell them when they are doing things right.  Words are great, but using moans and body language can be just as effective.  Even so, using words will reinforce that you aren't faking it.

Communicate
This was partially covered above, but bears repeating here.  Don't be afraid to speak about anything, just be nice about it.  Be encouraging, but don't suffer through something that hurts or has no feeling because you are afraid to speak up.  If their ego is so fragile it can't handle talking about the sex you are having, you shouldn't be having sex with that person.

 




  

If Humans Had Sex Like Dogs...

I'm a bad pet owner right now.  I have a small female dog that has not been spayed.  I'm able to let this sneak by as my male dogs are all neutered.  However, when she goes into heat, my small male dog takes full advantage of his remaining working parts and they get it on frequently.  Last night, they got it on in the yard before I went to work.  Do you know what happens when dogs have sex?  My hubby didn't, not until he saw it the first time.  When dogs fuck, the penis swells up upon completion of the act and remains inside the female dog until the swelling recedes.  They become tied.  My two little dogs were tied in the yard and unable to come in when I called them.  Therefore, I had to carry them inside, one in each arm, careful not to stress the point of connection and set them down safely inside.  They always look so confused when they are tied, as though they are completely surprised by it every time.  They almost look guilty, like a masturbating Catholic boy immediately after ejaculating.  This morning, we laughed about it.  "Can you imagine if humans were like that?"  my hubby asked.

This brings to mind numerous funny imaginary scenarios of humans getting it on and getting stuck together at the end, always surprised and confused by the outcome.  Imagine teenagers trying to get it on before parents arrive home and trying to find a place to hide until they become unstuck.  Imagine this odd mess of human bodies and limbs trying to make its way across a room to a closet.  Different positions lead to different configurations.  Just think about that the next time you fuck...  once it's over, imagine you had to stay that way for 10-15 minutes and think about what you've done.