Things Got Rocky, But They Appear to Have Settled

I haven't been posting about our rough patch, because things were so personal and so difficult that I didn't want to add any additional threat by writing about them here.  There are a handful of people in the local community who know my real identity and I couldn't blog as freely as I would have otherwise.

Things seem to have settled and are truly on the upswing as of right now, but there was a lot of arguing and a lot of discussing, some careful negotiation and some refusing to back down.  What we argued about was remaining in an open, poly relationship.  What we have settled on is remaining in an open, poly relationship.

After numerous disappointments and let downs, Hubby was feeling pretty down about his prospects and having a hard time seeing the benefits of being poly when all he had thus far was emotional pain.  The pain of being dumped in addition to the pain of having to share me was really bringing him down.  He wanted to close.  I refused.  Thus began about 6 weeks of arguing about the future of our relationship and whether or not we would stay married.

What we have settled upon is remaining open.  I am content to just date NMB for the time being, until a time which he feels more comfortable.  He now has a consistent fun thing going on, but there is little emotion there.  He still really wants an emotional connection with another girl and is continuing to search for it.

I still feel like things are precarious, but I also feel like it is more important now to stick to my convictions and fight for the open relationship.  Monogamy does not make sense to me any more, on a fundamental level.  On a practical level, I will not give up my relationship with NMB.  Nope.  Not gonna do it.

Things have changed for us in the last few weeks and in the coming months/year will be changing even more.  I will write about this soon, but for now, I am just happy that I managed to squeeze out a post at all.